Hiatus

Thursday, November 5, 2015 | 11:35 PM | 0 comments

It has been a long while since I blogged. Recently, I have chanced upon a few blogs of people I know. In fact, I didn't realise that they blog until jumped from one blog to another.

Woke up. Ran some errands with my parents and now it's 1400hrs on a Sunday afternoon. Weather: Gloomy, seems like it's going to rain any minute. (drafted this post on 01-11-2015)

Here I am, sitting at my desk and I brought up the Blogger webpage on my computer. I have tried to come back to writing and penning down my thoughts from time to time. I realised that in fact, there are a few drafts left untouched during my considerably lengthy hiatus.

I thought that it would be alright for me to share some of these unfinished drafts.

Here's the first one.

26 March 2015

Like many other Singaporeans, I visited the Parliament House today to pay my last respect to Mr. Lee Kuan Yew.

Now, before you all just deem this post of as another long post to express my gratitude and sadness due to the loss of an incredible man with extraordinary foresight, charisma and love for the country, I'm here to pen down my experience while queuing up to pay tribute earlier this day.

At about 1600hrs today, I arrived at the area of Parliament House with my parents. It was sunny but there was a generous amount of cool wind.

Unfortunately, I didn't finish my recollection of the day's event. However, I did share my views through a Facebook post.

Like many other Singaporeans, I decided to pay my last respect to Mr. Lee Kuan Yew at the Parliament House today.

Afterall, he was the man who connected the dots to and for this little red dot. He was the man who fought and pulled our sampans and tangled fishing nets out of polluted dirty water, and built us a ship amongst skyscrapers. He was the man who gave up his life to give us a common identity and a common place we call home.

Being brought up in a, I would say, pro-government environment, I was taught to read and understand what our forefathers have sacrificed for us and to remember that my nation was forged by men who planted trees whose shade they knew they would never sit in. When given the chance to, I will question the taxi-uncles and the aunties I happen to talk to about life in Singapore and about their views of the country. I started to read and learn about the current Singapore but I never liked to label myself as a supporter of a particular political party. I preferred to be seen as someone who tries to live with what we have in Singapore and then perhaps leave the country when I get older, to somewhere slower, colder and with less people.

Singapore has its flaws. Singaporeans are known to be kia-su and self-centered. I tend to agree. But what I have seen today, amidst the overwhelming crowd of people, made me see Singaporeans in a new light.

When I was queuing up, I noticed the small manpower of volunteers giving out water to the crowd and the lack of proper disposals of plastic bottles and cups. But despite the pathetic volunteer-to-members of public ratio, the volunteers were very willing to quench the thirst of others under the sweltering heat. I remember this particular schoolgirl from TKGS. She was carrying some flowers and her belongings in one arm and was carrying a box of mineral water in the other, offering drinks to the people in the line. Honestly, she inspired me. Soon, I decided to step out of the line and I began carrying boxes of mineral water and walked down the line to ask if anyone would like some water. At some point, I hoped that they would just take more bottles to lighten the weight as my arms were starting to tremble.

The crowd thanked us as we walked down the line, asking for any rubbish they would like to throw and also to distribute water. I was politely rejected from time to time but inside, I felt warmth and love. People were actually talking to one another. From strangers standing in the queue, they started talking about what Mr. LKY did for Singapore and then it soon escalated to joking and entertaining one another to keep everyone motivated. Some people asked me how much I'm given per hour for distributing the water. Some offered me snacks they brought to last them through the long wait. While I was talking to the volunteers, one of them found out that I was there to pay tribute and was not a "certified" volunteer. He said to me, "Very good, we have done our part and now it's up to you, young people.".

Singaporeans don't only queue for Hello Kitties and free gifts.

The 5-hour long experience strengthened my belief of how influential Mr. LKY was. He was capable of bringing people together, and he still does even after he has left us. People, of different age, religion, race, and family background had come together to build what we have today, because of this extraordinary man. I'm proud to be Singaporean.

I strongly urge my fellow friends and family to pay your last respect if you want to and to find out more on what Mr. LKY had sacrificed to provide for us.

Mr. Lee Kuan Yew may have left us, but let us cherish what's left of him - the values and ideals which he had inculcated in us, the country he had built for us - and live our lives to the fullest. This way, he'll live on in our hearts, and in those of the future generations forever.

Once again, RIP sir.

Re-read what I have written and I'm brought back to where I was. In hindsight, many things have changed in the past year. I'm sounding nostalgic, aren't I? I am but in a positive way.

Let's just focus on the main things that have changed.

Firstly, I have began reading through my Year 1 textbook. For those who don't know, I'm doing Psychology (BSc) in the University of Western Australia.

It didn't came easy. I was only given a letter stating my eligibility for a place in the university in the year of 2015. The official letter of offer never came.

My parents decided to bring me over to Perth in February 2015. We were to visit my brother while accompanying my sister over to start her second degree. (cray' much) It was the first year celebrating CNY overseas, away from home. We had our family reunion dinner at a Cantonese restaurant in Chinatown. After that, we headed back to our "hotel". Counting down to the 1st day of the lunar year in a hostel room we rented. When we knelt down in front of my parents to 拜年 (pay wishes), it felt different yet very much the same. The words we say were different. Wishes shifted from "good business and good studies" to more "good health and happiness". We didn't have Mandarin Oranges. We didn't have CNY decorations around us. We were in a hostel room with queen-sized bed. It, however, felt homely. Home, isn't necessarily the place you live and grow up at. It's the place where your loved ones are at.

We did some shopping around Perth the next few days. We stocked up supplies for my siblings, ran some errands. I loved it there. Quiet. Cafes everywhere. Cool weather. Chill.

I remember touring around the campus. The place certainly looked better than the urbanised buildings we have in Singapore.universities. Old yet gold. It was the annual "open-house" and clubs were out to advertise and sell themselves, getting freshies to join them. I entered the building where international students go to to settle their enrolment. I sat in front of the lady at the counter, waiting for her to bring up my documents. Expecting the same answer as the student agency gave me, "Too early to know the status of your application". But, no. The lady said, "It says that we are waiting for your acceptance of the offer.".

Words cannot describe how relieved I felt. If you have been reading my other posts. You can probably remember that I did not do well for my A levels. In short, I failed my General Paper which means "bad command of English" in the eyes of universities in foreign countries. Many universities require me to take an English proficiency test, IELTS. Fortunately, my result for my 'O' level English (A1) is good enough for UWA as it proves my ability to read, understand, write and speak in English. Thank god I wrote an essay a day everyday when preparing for my 'O' levels.

I would consider myself to be rather lucky to have a smooth life and the bad A levels results struck me hard as one of the major setbacks I have encountered. The feel of getting rejected. "Sorry, your results aren't good enough. Maybe you can try other institutions.". I was repeatedly, politely sent away to other booths when I was at a UK university convention held at Suntec last year. I went through a phase of self-doubt then.

Now, I'm accepted into a university which I want to go to. My senior from NS, Jeremy studies there, my siblings, too.

The other days of the stay there were fun. I caught Les Mis with Jeremy and his then new friend. Les Mis was spectacular. Continued visiting places in Perth, went to the zoo in my new shoes and had to dirty them as we walked on Kangaroo-poo covered ground. (still hurts)

So..yea! That basically sums up my trip to Perth and how it has affected me. My first CNY overseas. Accepted into the uni of my choice and studying what I am interested in. I asked around for Psych textbooks and managed to get the one my uni will be using. :P

Next, I shall talk about my medical condition. It's nothing serious. I fell in January while climbing and hurt my back. Prior to that, I have been seeing a physiotherapist as I have been feeling back ache from time to time. The fall wouldn't hurt anyone much. But for a person who already has back problems, it sucked. I didn't climb since then. I can, but my parents are against it. Were, against it. They finally agreed to allow me to go back to climbing. Now, I just need to find the time to. Oh yea, my medical condition. MRI was done, nothing wrong with my nerve. What is the problem is that my hamstrings are too active, meaning I need to stretch more so that the muscles will not tense up easily and press on my nerve causing some discomfort in my legs and my back. It's called the scaitic nerve if you are interested to know, links up from the feet to the buttocks and up to the back.

Recently, my mother has been pestering me about the rash at the back of my knees. I have been seeing doctors from time to time at polyclinics and was given cream to apply. None of those were of any use. I finally gave in and went to National Skin Centre to get it checked out. Turns out to be mild eczema. New thing is that people with childhood asthma are more prone to having skin rash. Nothing serious, I stress again. More cream and was advised to use a more moisturising body wash.

I have also visited Chao Zhou, China last week. My cousin has a new-born baby. I got a baby nephew. He's adorable and only 3 weeks old! HE'S AS LONG AS MY FORE ARM. SOOOO CUTE.

For those who stuck around reading till the end. I'll be updating more on my blog so stay tuned. :D

P.S. ORD SOON! 22nd Nov is my last day. Yessssssssss

'All those sleepless nights

And all those wasted days /

What more can I do

I'm wringing myself dry'

People ask me why and I'd say it's just my life

Maybe, they know that that's a lie

Some part of me will always worry
All I ever wanted was for everyone to be happy.

Before Nineteen

Monday, October 13, 2014 | 4:35 PM | 0 comments

October 2014: Almost a month since I last blogged.

Scrolling through Twitter awhile back and I saw this picture

Pretty damn true?

I was reading this book some time ago and one of the points said that the major factor depriving one from attaining something is the fear of rejection. I think I may have blogged about it before previously but here I go again, rambling on on this.

So instead of being afraid to do something and never get it. Why not try and maybe you will get it?

After all,

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

-Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo

Do check out the movie if you haven't. I heard the reviews of the book is rather bad compared to the movie though.

Moving on to brag about my mini-achievements I am proud of. Back to what I have shared long ago, my goals for the next ~~two~~ one year and two months.

I'm getting better at my gaming. I haven't told many people regarding my gaming plans because Singapore isn't really esports friendly. Yes, I know getting somewhere in a market so small seems impossible and it's rather naive to believe that it is. But still, I'm trying.

Ok now, it's about fitness. I have been doing bodyweight exercises at home on my own. SUPERRRR WEAK when I first started out after my long break due to my back pain. I was supposed to do 4 sets. I went home after 1.5 :( Brings me to my climbing experience I had with Zi Hao on Wednesday. Comparing this round to the very first time I climbed back in J1, I did much better. But Zi Hao just schooled me real hard. At least, he showed me how to do the routes. We went to Kinetics which is a small gym and rather quiet gym. The routes are more for better climbers at least that's what Zi Hao said.

Point is I didn't finish any route HAHAHA and when I finally got the hang of the route that I was attempting, Zi Hao made me laugh and after I fell, I had no strength left.

After 18374895 tries, I made it to the third last hold.

Zi Hao said my core was weak so I knew I had to do something. Here I am, dying.

DIPS FOR TIPS! ~~skinny legs~~

I swear it is still hurting now.

And a selfie to end of the day. We are both exhausted.

My parents gave me the green light to take up climbing so yes, I'M A HAPPY BOY.
I have to pay for my own equipment though.

Update: I went climbing again. This time my left hand sustained a more painful flapper. My whole body is aching especially my forearms. But then, no pain no gain?

As usual, I like to share a few articles/webpages I have chanced upon.

http://elitedaily.com/life/life-is-short/786579/

1. Live somewhere other than where you were born. It can change your perspective, not to mention your life.

2. Get the education you always wanted, even if it’s unconventional. Learn about what you love, not just what someone else wants you to learn.

3. Find the true meaning of a best friend. There’s something beautiful about a person (or people) who stand by you through absolutely everything.

4. Seek out friends with whom you’ve lost touch (before it’s too late). If someone was once important to you, there was a reason why.

5. Learn what it means to love before you fall in love. Love a pet, a friend, a family member. Love yourself.

6. Stand up for what you believe is right, even if it makes someone mad. You can’t please everyone, but you have to live with yourself.

7. Travel somewhere you’ve always dreamed to go. Money is just paper. Experiences stay with you forever.

8. Take days off from everything. Go to the beach, take walks through the park or just lay on your couch. Everyone needs a break.

9. Find ways to make your career out of your passion. It shouldn’t have to just be a job; it should be a life.

10. Hug at least one person every day. Hugs are proven to brighten people’s days, so you’re doing a good thing for yourself and the other person by doing so.

Okay now, here's a video of a dance class dancing to 'Anaconda' choreographed by Tricia Miranda

so much swag.

Ending my post real soon, here's one by Nigahiga

Sweet Wholesome Girl

Acoustic is always better

That sums it up. Getting late night feels as usual. But I just don't know where to start sharing. We'll see how. As for now, stay determined and never let others make you falter.

I WILL BE BACK

'I was scared of dentists and the dark

I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations

Oh, all my friends are turning green

You're the magician's assistant in their dream' -Riptide

They told me it was obvious and I told them I didn't know what they were talking about.

Truth is I do. But what's also real is that my heart's full of doubts.

Carpe Dium

Friday, September 19, 2014 | 2:36 AM | 0 comments

Back to my little cove. I find myself being wide awake at this hour. I feel very nostalgic at the moment.

I recently chanced upon a video. It labels our generation as the "Instagram Generation". Basically, the general public have been saying how our generation are obsessed with social networking, painting our lives so that others see only the good side of our lives. The director/producer of this video says that we are actually planning our lives such that it can be a memory worth to be kept in our minds, or rather as a form of a picture or a video. In this way, we are "constantly being artists" of our lives. (I quote the video).

Another thing is the reintroduction of the "20 facts about me" and the "15 books/movies I have read/watched" back into the social networks. We tag one another and the cycle continues until somehow everyone has either done it or chose not to do it. So yes, I wanted to let know me better. Let's face it. Most of the friends/followers we have on such networks are no more than acquaintances and 20 facts no matter how simple, will definitely let them know you better, be it read literally or inferred. I went to look for photos. I chose an album which seemed foreign to me. In them contained my childhood pictures and other photographs taken in the past. I learned more about myself and of my family. How innocent we looked. How genuine our smiles were. I saw how my parents looked at me and my siblings in the photographs. Yes, it was very heartwarming.

I went on facebook and went to look at the photographs taken when I was in Secondary School and JC. Spent a few hours, reading the comments and laughing at how immature and young we all were. The inside jokes, some still fresh to me and some getting a little alien.

A few days after, I decided to reconnect with my friends and family. I forced myself to go out of the house to have a meal with my parents. For those who haven't already know, I have a strong relationship with my house. I don't like to leave my house usually. I started talking to my friends. Those who were once there for me as when I was there for them.

I actually thought that I was the only loser who was living in the past. Going back to reading old comments on old pictures. Thinking of the good and bad times we had in the past. But after talking to my friends, we all admitted that we look through our photos from time to time, just to relive the moment in our minds.

Now, having said all that, I propose a way we should live. Why do we constantly look back at the times we had? It's because the past is supposedly better than the present. And the bad times only amplified how the magnitude of the happy memories.

I know that everyone are having troubles with their lives. We were there. Two years ago, we were all complaining about how shitty life was. Two years later, we are still complaining about how life is and comparing it with the past. So instead of focusing on the present, why not focus on the future? Know that someday, we will be looking back and remember how pleasant it was for us. The things we have gone through that made us who we are or who we will be. That every little mistake we made turned out to be the best decisions we made. Start living life with faith. Live life.

Paint the present so that we will be able to indulge in our memories in the near future.

There were silences in the midst of the conversations we had. But knowing that on the other end of the line, there is someone waiting for me to speak. That is enough for me. Because, as cliche as it sounds -

"Friendship is not about who came first. It is about who came and has never left."

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 | 5:58 PM | 0 comments

It has been awhile since I have blogged.

I know that I have mentioned that I will be following the challenge and to try my best to do it. At first, I did. But then I realised it's my choice to tell the world what I want them to know about me. Besides, who reads this blog anyway? Hahaha

Jumping straight to the point, my four goals I have pledged to focus on.

I have been working on them. My physical fitness, gaming, drawing and family. Things have definitely changed in the past one and a half month.

Despite my efforts to keep fit, which helped a lot, I have stopped working out temporarily due to a back injury. At first, everyone thinks I'm faking it ('chao keng' is the slang here). What they don't know about me is that I was actually supposed to be PES E, meaning I would be restricted to desk work. However, I'm upgraded to PES B1 because I begged the Medical Officer to give me a chance and retake the breathing test again. (I failed thrice). Yes, I know that most people reading this would be thinking how stupid I am to give up something many yearn to have for a upgraded PES. I feel that serving my country is more important and I would like to learn from serving instead of just doing desk work and learn close to nothing.

Next, drawing. My drawing teacher has left for USA (he's from there) for a vacation. In the past month, I have not touched drawing. I don't know why but I have lost interest. I mean I would like to be able to draw well. But the learning curve is too steep.. What I have picked up is guitar. But damn I should have gotten an acoustic instead of electric. My fingers are peeling badly from all the finger-picking. I shall not say that I would be able to commit fully to it.

My mother was diagnosed with H1N1 about 5-6 days ago. I was worried and still am because we just don't know how a strand of infectious virus could mutate. I tried my best to be with her and take care of her. My work has taken up so much of my time and my commitments to gaming has taken up a large deal as well.

To further elaborate on this, on to the gaming part of my post. Yet again, I stress that you can judge me based on what I deem is important to me. Gaming is one of them.

In the past few years, I have dedicated numerous hours of time to this game called DotA which was recreated into DotA 2. This amounted to more than 5000hours at least considering I started playing in primary school. I have been scolded, beaten and warned countless times but I still continued. Now that I have reached my current milestone. I have been invited to join a team. Yes, we are an amateur team far from the top. But at least, this could possibly be the start of my DotA "career". My team captain have confirmed my invitation by letting me know the dates of the online tournaments we have. (we call it tourneys)

Just an hour ago, I broke the news and let my parents know about this. I have always respected my parents' decisions and considered them, no matter how much I don't seem to. I told them that this is something I feel that I can be proud of, if I actually win something, that is. They started talking about how ridiculous I sound. I felt like shit okay. I garnered my confidence and courage to tell them and then they just shoot me down like that. I just kept quiet and not say anything much. Maybe I should give up the thought of gaming after all?

We then reached home and my dad was getting angst but I see him suppressing his disappointment. I went to bathe and when I exited the bathroom, he was outside waiting for me. He said "Son, this is your choice. We will support you as long as you stay healthy and keep away from breaking the law." (there have been too many fights and other law-opposing things happening due to gaming apparently) I acknowledge and went back to my room to pack my things.

My computer is set up outside my room. I usually play after I bathe and pack. I went to my computer and found out that my dad has already turned it on for me. Lights and air-conditioner both turned on. I don't know what to say to them in person. But I'm really happy that they would let me do this. This is just the start and there bound to be several instances of opposing interests. Hopefully, we will get there.

P.S. Don't give up.

JJ

Monday, June 23, 2014 | 12:01 AM | 0 comments

So finally, I feel the vibe to do the 3rd challenge. Day #3.

Day 3: your parents

To my dearest parents, first of all, let me apologise for my wrongdoings. For not living up to your expectations, for being lazy, for being stubborn, for whatever you think I have done wrong or have not done with my fullest effort. I apologise for all the imperfections I have, all the insecurities, all the bad attitudes. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you want me to be perfect. But what I deem as imperfection is not doing well in some areas which I have the potential to excel in. I am sorry for the bad attitude and the mood swings I have from time to time. As much as I try to curb myself, the nature of an learning adolescent triumphs my lacklustre mindset.

I remember the afternoon when I came home and mother asked me about what happened in school. I said nothing had happened. She started scolding me and questioning me and I just kept denying. My teacher had called her, telling her that I was playful in school, talking and making a lot of noise in class. Then, she spanked me and when father heard what was going on, he joined in.

That was the first time, you both had scolded me together. Usually, it was one of you scolding and the other defending me.

Fast forward to secondary school, I started playing a lot of computer games. Maplestory, DotA, getting addicted to these games and to surfing the net for videos. You were worried about my results but I just didn't care. So much so that I couldn't make it to the triple science stream. You all spoke to me about this, about streaming. Knowing that I used to have a flair for science, but not making the cut due to my other academic results, you were disappointed. Yet again, I'm sorry.

When I received my results, you told me I should be going to a JC, having such results. So far, this is the only thing which I regret heeding your advice. I had an interest, a direction to study in a poly. But you rejected it, playing mindgames and all. Sure, ultimately, it was me who agreed to go the JC route but as time progressed, I hated my JC life.

In JC, I must say my life changed a lot in these two years. I lost people who meant so much to me. I lost friends who ditched me for others. I was stressed about school, CCA, emotional commitments and was always feeling tired in school. Sorry that I came home and vented it all on you.

Now, I hope that I can make a change and repay you. Afterall, thank you for always being there, even when I felt like I didn't need you. In hindsight, when things screw up, I just turned to you and you will clean up the mess. Thank you for fetching me home from school, taking my bullshit and attitude. Thank you for waking up early every morning just to make sure that everything was proper so that I could live my life soundly. Thank you for the gifts and the things which I had taken for granted all these while.

I remember when I was younger, you all used to ask me who I loved more, father or mother. I always replied equally. I mean there's no way to answer that question correctly. A son's love for his father is different and never will be the same as that for his mother.

Till now, I love you, both equally.

I didn't realise I was such a spoilt brat until I enlisted. Having all these taken away, only did I realise how fortunate I was. Well, you know they say that it's better to be late then never. This is why I try my best not to piss you off nowadays, having so little time with you due to my work. Here's to many more memories! <3

Signing off, JJ.

TheRedTour'14

Friday, June 13, 2014 | 3:54 PM | 0 comments

Finally got the time to sit down and blog :)

For those who have seen my pictures and tweets, you would have known that I went for Taylor Swift's concert on Monday 9th June 2014. It was the most memorable concert I have been to.

I didn't plan to go for the concert at the start. It was too expensive and I didn't know my shift plan. At that time, the only concert she had was on the 12th of June. Besides, it sold out so quickly!

During my course training for my new vocation, one of my squad mates (same vocation, different division) told me about Taylor Swift adding another concert in Singapore. The concert is actually being shifted from Thailand to Singapore due to political instability in Thailand. Tickets will be up for sale the coming Saturday. He asked me if I wanted to go, knowing I love Taylor Swift hahaha. This time I decided to just buy and not care whether my shift will coincide with the concert (well, it did).

I got my sister to use her credit card to buy the tickets for us, telling her to camp at the website at 9.50 am because the tickets open at 10 am. online. HAHA Thankfully we got a pair of tickets.

So the next thing I needed to do is to ask for leave on the first day of work at my new vocation. You know how I value first impression. Asking for leave on the first day isn't a very good thing to do. But you only live once. What are the chances of me getting to see Taylor Swift perform live? Fortunately, my OC's daughter also loved Taylor Swift and he actually knew who she was. (He's almost 50 years old I think)

"Next time better let me know earlier." He said as he passed me a form to apply for leave. AND YES! I'm going for The Red Tour in Singapore. :P

My friend on the other hand didn't get to take leave cos he wants to save leave for his A level exams. My sister agreed to go with me instead.

Now for the main event! The concert itself.

Pose #1

Pose #2

That's my sister right there.

SELFIE SHAKER

I cannot wait but change out to this shirt I bought.

More on the shirt changing. After we paid for the shirt, I was looking around finding the toilet to change. But we had to queue up to enter the hall. So my sister said that I should just change on the spot. The girls behind we turned around and looked the moment I started changing :x

Amazing isn't it?

I had to join in.

ANDDDD A CANDID BY MY SISTER!

Ignore my expression. Too damn happy HAHAHA

And it starts.

EVERYONE SWITCHES ON THEIR CAMERA AND LIGHTSTICKS! AHHHHH

SCREAMS. She has a damn good figure omggg

I love this picture.

YES!

Okay there are many more pictures and videos. I don't want to flood my blog with her pictures. I would post a video but some error keeps popping up. So sorry guys :P

And I hve decided to pick up my guitars and ukelele again, after getting inspired by the concert. HAHAHA judge me, go ahead.

Amidst scrimming every night, (scrimming is gaming but in a more competitive manner of practice), I have come across a website which some of you may already know. And it's perfect for people who are working/ serving national service and still want to continue learning!

Go ahead and click the link! http://www.coursera.com

Basically this site has many free courses which introduces you to the topic. Some are more in depth then others though. They have planned out different days and timings you should go online to check the lessons out and have assignments for you to do. It's ALL FREEEEE! Maybe someday there's gonna be a catch to it. I haven't find anything like that though. Go ahead and upgrade yourself. :)

Being multi-talented make you stand out. ~~(being tall too)~~

I have not continue my challenge for a while. It is really hard for me to look at the computer and deal with the tiny words after 12hours of looking into a computer at work. Constantly picking up calls and switching from screen to screen. It's mentally draining because one mistake would require a long time to rectify. And when you're working for the government, it's better not to screw up.

And to grant Jeslyn's wish. I shall dedicate this small part to her.

To me, you are like a sister. We always exchange swords verbally, laughing and condemning each other constructively. I may appear offended and pissed off shortly after but I personally like it, helps me keep myself on track. So if I really do snap back at you curtly, please forgive and forget.

Anyways, continue saying that what others say doesn't affect you. But make sure you mean it. Like srsly. Hahaha. Alright I guess this is it. I shall talk less if not you shoot me back.

Night shift tonight. I have to sleep. Will try to update soon.

JJ

Findings and #2

Thursday, June 5, 2014 | 2:34 AM | 0 comments

Technically, today's day 3 but I guess I'll be missing out days due to the irregularity of my work but then as long as I finish the challenge, I'm pretty much done right? My procrastination for you, right there.

Alright let's talk a bit about my work. I definitely cannot state what I do but I can say that my job is super tiring. I have to report before the shift starts and would end later due to debrief and handover. So let's say around 14hrs, 12hrs from the shift and 2hrs for admin work etc. Adding on to that, my travel time, to and fro, that is another 3hrs, clocking 17 hours in total. Yes, you can see how busy I am? But I like my work so far. Even though it's draining, it's interesting and fulfilling.

Here's what I found on the net, and I think it's really well- composed (it's cute), rather good actually. The singer is eye-candy material, at least for me. AND SHE HAS RED HAIR YA!

She's cute right hahahaha. Coupled with her whiny voice, she looks very xiao hai zi. hahahaha. Enjoy! The song's quite catchy. But I feel it's either you find it nice or you hate the song.

By the way, I'm trying to find a new hairstyle. Any suggestions? :P ~~I'm vain~~

Day 2: your crush

Well, I don't really have a person in mind right now. Ever since I made up my mind to concentrate on self-improvement and my work, I haven't really spend much time on girls. Before you guys call me a fking douche-bag for objectifying girls, I am saying that I'm not. I just like putting it this way. I'm quite sure that both males and females favour certain qualities and characteristics and would want their partners to have some of them. In my case, I haven't put in the effort to know new people or understand my current friends well enough to find out if they do possess the qualities etc. I am also, definitely, not saying that I have the right to choose, given my mediocre "condition".

I guess I should direct this post to the two of the crushes (quite a number, frankly) I have had.

So hi, we have definitely stopped talking for awhile now.

I have never directly confessed to a girl before, but I'm sure that my actions are highly suggestive and you could somewhat feel it. Well, I maybe lack confidence. I know I seem like a person who is a flirt (every close friend I know say that I'm a flirt when they first saw me). Of course, some of them found out that that's definitely not the case, after seeing how fail I am with girls ~~embarrassing much.~~

The awkward conversations and all.

You know what they say. A crush is called a crush because you feel like that when they don't feel the same way about you. I was there. I'm sure everyone was there. It was the time when every love song reminds you of that special someone. When you live spiritlessly. When you continually complain to your friends on how screwed up your life is. When you felt unwanted. You made me feel that way.

It started out great. We talked all day. Everything was smooth. From random talks, to looking at one another and just smiling after that, to the dates which neither of us would admit was the one who asked the other person out (or even call it a date). Things happened. Things changed. It was never the same. I thought it could be. But things don't work that way.

You were the one who allowed me to experience the extremity of elatedness and misery.

So now, no matter where you are ~~(even though I know where you are, just doing this for dramatic effect HAHA)~~, I wish you all the best and as I always said, " what is yours, is yours." and "when it comes, it comes.". Maybe our paths will cross again someday. Maybe, we'll be invited to attend each other's wedding? Who knows? hahahahaha.

No matter how much I have tried to forget you, some part of me will always remember you.

Now that I have somewhat found my purpose in life, I hope you have found yours too.

~~-KoalaPig/EvilChair~~

The post isn't that long, yea? I guess it doesn't have to be. I just feel more light-hearted after sharing this. Of course, memories do surface in my mind from time to time, but I'm trying to keep my priorities attended to and keep my thinking straight and rational.

After all, life goes on.

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